Manual Kiss Your Wife Goodnight -- or someone else just might

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Based on my research, many couples report that kissing is more intimate than intercourse.

This wasn't the case for many in high school and college. Back then, kissing didn't have the same meaning that it has in marriage. Then it was playful and fun -- something you do when you like someone. For many in marriage, such kissing has more weight and meaning.

Why It's Important for Our Kids to See Me Kiss My Wife

For many married couples, sex focuses more on climax and less on intimacy. I define intimacy in sexuality as eye contact, emotional connection and being mentally present. After a long day filled with kids, work and dozens of other responsibilities, married couples just want to feel good without having to put in more time and effort that true intimacy requires.

Sometimes a desire for intimacy doesn't show up until you start kissing. Most individuals want to feel something -- passion, excitement, arousal -- before they kiss. However, in marriage, desire can start after you start kissing, not before.

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How many times have you thought during sex with your spouse, "Why the heck don't we do this more often? One partner "always" has kissing sexpectations.


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When I ask why married couples don't kiss, I often hear, "If we kiss, it always has to lead to sex. Yes, kissing in marriage usually creates more desire to have sex. And there are couples who make an intentional decision to increase kissing and hugging for a week while forgoing sex. The partner with a lower desire for sex will thank the other partner for offering such a guilt-free week.

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One partner feels anxious about kissing. What if you could gain more intimacy in your relationship simply by making a choice to kiss more often?

Are you willing to go through some awkwardness and move past your anxiety to get to enjoyment? Center in on being with your partner rather than trying to get to sex. Focus more on how much you care for and love your partner and less on getting something from them. Hushabye, lullaby, sing you to sleep, drift on the music that plays soft and deep. Make bedtime a magical experience for your little one with this charming collection of lullabies, beautifully written by Claire Freedman and illustrated with tenderness and warmth by a selection of classic artists.

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